Starting Over
by EpitomeOfBella
Summary: My version of what happened after twilight. After he left. She died on the inside. She became a lifeless shell. Now, Bella finds her way back to Forks after the tragedy of her parents death. Other than Bella guess who else is back. Will she ever be able to trust him again? or will they go their separate ways?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note!**

**Hey guys, This is a new story I'm working on. I'm terribly sorry I haven't put anything new out or updated my stories. I gave up after some horrible reviews, which is definitely not good. I only recently came to the realization that I still love writing. So without further ado here is my new story. I hope you like it.**

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS! SM DOES!**

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**Chapter 1**

**Bella POV**

The rain fell from the sky, splattering my face, and hiding the tears that flowed from my eyes. A sudden gust of wind whipped my dripping hair around my head. Shivering, I pushed my legs faster towards the house I had acquired in just two days. Of course it was my parents, who had just recently been killed. I was alone. No brothers. No sisters. No nothin'. Just me, my house and a huge ass storm, that had been going for what felt like forever.

My name is Isabella Swan and the only reason I had come back to this place was because my parents were dead and I had arrangements to make. If I had had it my way I would not have come back at all. I hated this town, because of one person who said he loved me and promised to never leave and I was stupid enough to believe him. Why was I so stupid?

The worst thing about all of this was I broke my parents' heart when I said I was leaving. Poor Charlie and Renee, after he left I was just a shell, everything I used to be disappeared. I basically locked myself away, because the hole in my heart was so bad. I barely ate, I slept a lot, I quit going to school, and worst of all I was woken up every night by the same dream… well nightmare. That nightmare had me screaming every night until either my mom or dad came in and woke me.

We had a plan. He always told me that after we graduated high school we would go to Dartmouth together, after we got our degrees we would get married, have babies- err well try anyway, even though it was not likely we would ever have a family. He said he loved me the day he left, and I never saw him again. Six months later, after finally giving in to my depression I decided to move away from Forks, to spare my parents any more hurt and to possibly get on with my life. Now six months after I left, I was back and I hated every second of it. And it was all because of him.

I reached the stairs of the porch and hurried up them. I was soaked to the bone, even though all I did was go for a short walk, which started out sunny without a cloud in sight. Now back home I was soaked and shivering like a lost puppy in a spring shower, except it wasn't spring, and in this town it almost never stops raining. Sunshine is a rare thing. As soon as I was out of the rain I reach to unlock the door, but it was already open. _That's weird; _I thought _I could've sworn I locked the door when I left. _Pushing the thought to the back of my mind; I walked inside, wanting nothing more than to get out of these wet clothes. I ran upstairs to my room; the room that had always been my room, and threw open the closet door in search of something dry. The garment bags, which his sister had placed in there, were still hanging, mocking me. Frustrated I slammed the door shut and walked quickly to my parents' room. _Surely my father had some old sweatpants I could wear. _I dug through my father's drawers and pulled out a pair of old faded black sweats, then I found one of my mother's t-shirts. Carrying the dry clothes as far away from me as I could, I slowly went back to my room to find underwear in my suitcases. I quickly stripped off the cold, wet clothes that clung to my body and pulled on the warmer completely dry ones. I threw my dripping mahogany hair into a messy ponytail and headed down stairs.

As I flipped on the lights the thunder crashed and boomed as the rain pounded on the roof. Once the thunder had quieted another loud crash made me jump. It seemed to come from upstairs, scaring me. Then just as quickly as it came it was gone. Silence filled the house once more. I shrugged and walked to the living room. Sitting down on the couch, I switched on the TV, but nothing happened.

"Be Careful!" I heard someone shout

"Shut up, she's back home from her walk" Someone else hissed.

Annoyed the TV wasn't working I turned it off and got up from the couch. Freaked a bit more than I should be I was frozen. Why was I hearing voice upstairs? My parents were dead and I was the only one living here. Or was I?

It was quiet again and I was getting hungry. I headed towards the kitchen, as my stomach growled. "There's got to be something in this house to eat" I stated aloud as I opened the refrigerator door. Not expecting the massive amounts of food I gaped. The food looked like it had only been bought an hour or so ago. "Was someone expecting me?" I asked

"We sure were!" I heard a female voice from behind. A voice I recognized, one that I heard almost daily, leading up to when they left. I turned slowly and saw her "ALICE!" I launched myself into her arms crying hysterically. "Oh my god, I've missed you so much!" Her body shook as she laughed

"I missed you to sweetie" she said hugging me back.

"Are the others here too?" I asked not sure if I wanted to hear her answer.

"Of course" She said smiling widely as Jasper appeared by her side and I felt an over whelming sense of relief. "Hello Isabella"

"Hey Jasper, not cool with the whole emotion changing business and its Bella, you know that" He nodded and smiled shyly at my answer.

"Um Bella… Why in the world are you wearing that?" Alice said looking at my wardrobe choice in disbelief and disgust.

"Well Alice… I wasn't exactly expecting company. "I said sarcastically. She was about to answer me back was interrupted.

"BELLA!" I heard Emmett yell as he engulfed me in a gigantic bear hug.

"Em I can't breathe" I gasped

"Oh sorry" he laughed and put me back down.

"So where are Carlisle and Esme?" I asked

"Isabella, darling, how are you?" I heard Esme's motherly voice ask.

"I'm good. Where's Carlisle?'

"Oh you know my husband, always busy as usual. He actually got called to the hospital for an emergency. I'm sorry dear."

"That's okay. Don't worry about it I'm sure I'll see him later." I answered

"Of course"

"Wait. I think I hear dad's car" Emmett said as he wrapped his arms around Rosalie, who I hadn't seen come in.

A few seconds passed and the door opened, "Hello wonderful family" Carlisle said walking into the kitchen and kissing his wife.

"Darling, look who's here" Esme said to her husband.

Carlisle turned to me and looked surprised "Isabella, oh how wonderful. It's good to see you again. Staying healthy I presume, no recent hospital visits." He smiled gently as he walked over to me enveloping me in a hug and kissing my cheek in a fatherly way.

Once he had moved back to his wife's side, my stomach let out a loud growl. Emmett being Emmett laughed and said teasingly "Someone's hungry"

I smiled sheepishly and said "Well just a bit. I was actually figuring out what to eat when Alice interrupted me"

"I'm sorry geez." She said annoyed.

"Oh Alice, I was just kidding" I said moving to give her a hug. She laughed and hugged me back.

"Well Bella, how about you go with the others to the living room to catch up and I'll make you something to eat." Said Esme lovingly.

"Oh no Esme, I can make it. I'm not sure what I want anyway."

"But I insist. How does mushroom ravioli sound?"

"Ooh that sounds really good."

"Excellent. Go hang out with the others and I'll call you when it's ready."

"But… I…"

"No no, I insist. Go on sweetheart Alice is waiting." I look back and the siblings were gone. I looked back at Esme and already had all of the ingredients out.

"Esme, can I ask you something?"

"Sure dear, what is it?"

"Did Edward come back with y'all?" I asked curious and nervous at the same time.

"He did. But he has chosen not to be here with us tonight. He said he was not ready to face you yet, even though I know you feel the same way."

I shrugged "I would've been able to manage seeing him, my question is why he couldn't take seeing me?" I asked and then continued "When we were together he never really showed emotion but why all of sudden is his emotion showing. Esme what happened when y'all left?"

"Isabella," she sighed and stopped making the food. "He left you after he swore his life to you. Sweetie after what happened at your birthday, which I apologize for, he felt as if he couldn't protect you anymore. After all the two of you had been through, you were basically attacked by a member of our family. And so since he felt as if he couldn't protect you, he decided it would be best if he just left. He was so afraid that you would tell everyone about the Cullen family."

"Are you serious?! I would never! I loved him too much and I love you guys!" I was furious. Tears spewed form my eyes "I thought he trusted me. He said he did. I guess I was a fool to have believed him. The day he left he told me he trusted me ad that he loved me, then he just up and left. Did it ever occur to any of you to stop and think what happened to me when you left?" More tears betrayed me as they ran down my face "Of course not. Why in the world would you do something like that? Like actually care for me instead of this façade you put on. Did any of you actually love me or was that a lie too?" I questioned and continued "Just so you know I basically became a lifeless shell. I became so depressed I stopped eating, drinking, going to school, I quit living. Depression consumed me to the point that I almost committing suicide. But I'm sure you already knew that because of little miss Alice and her stupid gift. I bet you already knew why I left this town too?" She nodded, as I continued softly and more tears fell "Now I have nothing. My parents are dead. I'm dead. And to be honest, I have no one to blame but the Cullen's." I turned and ran out of the room, stomped up the stairs and into my parents room where I slammed the door, locked it and then flung myself on the bed and cried harder than I had ever before.

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**So how did you like it? More chapters to come. Stay tuned. Review please.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **

**Hey guys this is chapter 2. I'm sorry its short but I hope you like it. **

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT SM DOES!  
**

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Chapter 2

**Bella POV**

I did not know how long I was in here. Long enough to almost be asleep when someone's hand reached to touch my back. I flinched but didn't wake.

"Bells" a voice cooed.

No one called me Bells except for "Edward" I mumbled into the pillow.

"Isabella, love, will you look at me?"

"No. You are not real. This is a dream. The second I wake up I will not have seen the Cullen's in my house. My parents will not be dead. I will be at my house in California, away from the retched town." I said not wanting to believe that this was real life.

"Bells, this is not a dream." His voice came softly. "Please, baby, look at me."

Unwillingly I rolled onto my back and leaning over me was the most beautiful, godlike creature. His dark eyes, that told me he hadn't been hunting in a while, stared at mine. His beautiful sculpted body shone in the faint moonlight, which softly pushed through the rain clouds that hung in the sky. His hair was wild and dripping wet. He was hot. Probably the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen.

"I've missed you"

"I don't believe you. I mean I did before you left. Short luck on trying to get me to believe you again. You are nothing to me. Except a horrible per- Vampire. Edward I don't know if I will ever love you again. I can't trust that you'll actually stay around long enough this time, of decide your life was better off when you left. Oh and just so you know, " I said in a pissed off tone "I wasn't going to tell a sould about your family. I am not that horrible a a person and I loved you too much to let your friends know about the vampires."

"You love me?" he questioned.

"Well, Edward" I hissed "I did. Until you left me that is. I don't think that you understand what you did to me. I almost killed myself because of you and the hole you put through my heart. Honestly right now I can barely handle you being here. You broke my heart."

"I know" he said softly. I couldn't help but notice how exasperated he was. Had he had a worse time then I, when he left? "Bells, Do you know why I left?" he asked standing straight up and moving away from me.

"It's because you were afraid" I sat up and continued "You were afraid that once you swore your life to me , I would turn my back on you and all of the Cullen's and tell the whole dammed town of Forks, what you really were. News flash. I didn't. You should have trusted me." I accused. Angrily I got up from the bed and started pacing. I had to get the anger out of me some how. Usually I would run. I wanted to run, just take off, but right now even if I did he would stop me with his ridiculous vampire speed. So pacing would have to suffice.

"Bella, I did trust you. I do trust you. It's my-"

"THEN WHY DID YOU Believe I would say something in the first place? If you really did trust me, you wouldn't had have that thought for a second." I said pacing a little faster then necessary.

"Bells, I trust you, with my life. It was myself I didn't trust. I didn't trust myself that I trusted you. you were completely correct when you said I was afraid. I am a coward. I have always been a coward Bella" he said with sadness in his voice. "WILL YOU PLEASE STOP Pacing!" He said irritated as I stopped abruptly in mid-step and stood there staring at him. "You're making me nervous. Bella please," he begged

"Fine" I growled softly.

"Bella, what can I do to make you believe me?

"What can you do? What can you… NOTHING. Not a single damn thing. You broke my heart. I can't trust you. At least not now. Edward, now that you are back I cannot tell you that everything will go back to how it was. You are going to have to earn my trust back. Once you do that, then maybe I'll believe you. But for now… Now I can't. Edward I've changed. I'm not the same Bella you knew, the same Bella you once loved-"

"Still love" he interrupted

"Still love, whatever. Either way we are going to have to start over. From the beginning. Starting tomorrow. Now if you don't mind its been a long, emotional day and I am exhausted. Goodnight Edward." I said hiding the sadness from my voice "maybe I'll see you" I shrugged and the climbed back into bed.

"Goodnight Bells" He said barely audible and suddenly the room was filled with a severe loneliness. Story of my life. I quickly went to sleep from pure sleep deprivation.

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**Authors Note:  
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**I hope you liked it. Review please. **


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hey guys here is chapter 3 I hope you enjoy. Its the same a chapter 2 but in our beloved Edward's POV.**

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT SM DOES.**

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Chapter 3

**Edward POV**

Today was the day. The day my beloved Bella would be home… err well back to Forks. I knew she wouldn't come willingly but since her parents had died, Alice had said Bella would be back. Finally I would be able to see her. It had been one extremely long year since we'd left and I had last seen her.

Six months after we had left, I told my family that we had to go home to her, to Forks. Soon enough we were headed home, only to find out that she had left. The whole town was talking. They said she hadn't gone to school, in the past five monts and that just one month aga she had packed up and left Forks, by herself. Of course we had already known all of this because of our little fortune teller of a sister. I automatically knew she had left because of me. Because I was stupid and didn't trust myself to trust Bella with the Cullen family secret. I was a coward. So I did what I do best. I ran. Leaving her. Leaving my mate, my one true love. HOW STUPID COULD I BE?!

But today. Today I would fix things… or try to anyway.

I had heard the start of the conversation that she was having with Esme. I knew instantly that I had screwed up by not being at the house like the rest of my family but I wansn't ready to face her. Just like Esme had said. The conversation continued and then, her voice was so quiet and then the talking stopped. A minute later I heard the door upstairs slam and her crying. My Bella was crying. The strongest girl I knew was crying. Hard. I wanted to go to her; to comfort her, but I knew I couldn't. At least not yet.

I was hidden on the outskirts of the land where here backyard met the forrest. It was lonely. I was lonely and even though I am what I am, I could feel the pain where my heart was. The aching pain, that made me realize I actually wasn't an emotionless jerk. Was this the pain she felt for the past six months? God, I hope not. I never wanted to put her through that much pain. But after what I just heard, I'm pretty sure I had put her through that much pain. What an asshole I was.

I looked at my phone and saw it had been an hour. The crying had stopped and I knew that was my cue. "I sure as hell hope I don't screw this up" I said sending up a pointless wish. I ran the short distance to the window, that lead to the room, where I knew my beloved was. I scaled the wall skillfully and made sure I was extra careful not to make a sound, as I enterend through the unlocked window. My beautiful angel was sprawled across the king sized bed. I walked slowly and silently towards her, closing the gap between the window and the bed. I stood there for a few minutes, trying to figure out what to do. What to say to her. This was going to be way more complicated then I thought. I reached out to touch her softly and I felt a jolt of electricity when my hand came in contact with her back. "Bells" I cooed softly. I was the only one who ever called her Bells; she was bound to know who it was that was in the room.

"Edward" a mumble came from the pillow. When she said my name, I smiled. She was half asleep and barely coherent, but when my name was said it still sent shivers down my spine.

"Isabella, love, will you look at me?" I asked, wanting to see those beautiful brown eyes again.

"No. You are not real. This is a dream. The second I wake up I will not have seen the Cullen's in my house. My parents will not be dead. I will be at my house in California, away from the retched town." She said. I really screwed up if she doesn't believe want to believe that this was real life.

"Bells, this is not a dream." I said calmingly. "Please, baby, look at me."

I notice that she unwillingly rolled onto her back. I hadn't realized how far I had been leaning over her, but I didn't move. My hair dripped wet from the storm that had ended an hour ago. She looked at me like I was the most beautiful, godlike creature she had ever seen and boy was she wrong. I couldn't believe it; she hadn't changed a bit, well on the outside that is. She still looked beautiful, her mahogany hair was in a messy ponytail, she wore sweat pants and an old t-shirt and her eyes were all puffy. Pretty explanatory considering she'd been crying, basically all night. And I was to blame. Her eyes bore into mine. Oh shit. My eyes. They were too dark, considering I hadn't been hunting in a while. Her skin glowed in the faint moonlight, which softly pushed through the rain clouds that hung in the sky. I didn't realize until now how much I had actually missed her. I need to say something. Talk Edward, say something. Stop standing there like an idiot.

"I've missed you" I finally said after conjuring up the confidence.

"I don't believe you. I mean I did before you left. Short luck on trying to get me to believe you again. You are nothing to me. Except a horrible per- Vampire. Edward I don't know if I will ever love you again. I can't trust that you'll actually stay around long enough this time, of decide your life was better off when you left. Oh and just so you know, " she said. Man was she pissed. I've already f-ed this up. "I wasn't going to tell a sould about your family. I am not that horrible a a person and I loved you too much to let your friends know about the vampires."

"You love me?" I questioned. Making sure that I had heard that right. It had been a while since I heared her say that.

"Well, Edward" she hissed "I did. Until you left me that is. I don't think that you understand what you did to me. I almost killed myself because of you and the hole you put through my heart. Honestly right now I can barely handle you being here. You broke my heart."

Shit I really screwed up. Dammit Edward you coward. "I know" I stated softly. I couldn't hide how exasperated I was. I was feeling what I felt before while I was in the forest, pain, lonliness, heartache. I need to fix this now. "Bells, Do you know why I left?" I asked now standing straight up and moving away from her. I couldn't take it. I can't just stand here like this in all the tension.

"It's because you were afriad" She sat up and continued "You were afraid that once you swore your life to me , I would turn my back on you and all of the Cullen's and tell the whole dammed town of Forks, what you really were. News flash. I didn't. You should have trusted me." She accused. Honestly I half expected to her to get up and run. Just like she usually did when she got upset. She was a runner. And pretty damn fast for human, however even if she tried I wouldn't let her get away that quick. Besides I was vampire, the fastest of the Cullen's she couldn't get past she didn't run, instead she started pacing. That was going to get old fast. I was relieved and annoyed at the same time. God she was so frustrating. I ran my hand through my, tousled still slightly damp, hair in annoyance.

"Bella, I did trust you. I do trust you. It's my-" I started but wasn't able to finish because she started, raising her voice a little louder than she needed to.

"THEN WHY DID YOU Believe I would say something in the first place? If you really did trust me, you wouldn't had have that thought for a second." She said pacing faster. A wave of annoyance washed over me again. She knows this makes me nervous. I just wanted to grab her and hold in place. But I didn't and I continued in my attempt to fix this.

"Bells, I trust you, with my life. It was myself I didn't trust. I didn't trust myself that I trusted you. you were completely correct when you said I was afraid. I am a coward. I have always been a coward Bella" sadness filled my voice. I was getting anxious and couldn't stop myself when I shouted "WILL YOU PLEASE STOP Pacing!" She stopped abrutly in mid-step and stood there staring at me, looking a little scared. "You're making me nervous. Bella please," I begged, wishing and hoping that she would not start back up again.

"Fine" the words came almost in a growl.

"Bella, what can I do to make you believe me?

"What can you do? What can you… NOTHING. Not a single damn thing. You broke my heart. I can't trust you. At least not now. Edward, now that you are back I cannot tell you that everything will go back to how it was. You are going to have to earn my trust back. Once you do that, then maybe I'll believe you. But for now… Now I can't. Edward I've changed. I'm not the same Bella you knew, the same Bella you once loved-"

"Still love" I said, still ridiculously irretated.

"Still love, whatever. Either way we are going to have to start over. From the beginning. Starting tomorrow. Now if you don't mind its been a long, emotional day and I am exhausted. Goodnight Edward." She said, and I knew she was hiding the sadness from her voice "maybe I'll see you" She shrugged and the climbed back into bed.

Did she really want me to leave? Did I really just lose this discussion? Start over. What the hell does that mean? Shit. My life just got ten million times harder.

"Goodnight Bells" I said barely audible and left the room quickly and quietly the way I came. The thunder rumbled in the distance and I kept running. I knew that I was about to face the hardest part of my life, so I had to feed.

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**AN: I hope you like this. I personally think it is nice to see if from a different POV.**

**Keep the reviews coming. It makes me happy to see that y'all like my writing. **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: chapter 4 its kind of short but I hope you enjoy.**

**I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS SM DOES**

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Chapter 4

**Edward POV**

Thunder boomed and lightening crashed as I ran deeper into the forest. The rain started pouring from the sky as I hunted. One, two, three, four animals down and I was still hungry. When was the last time I had fed? It couldn't have been too long ago. It didn't matter. All I knew was that I was still hungry. Five, six, seven animals down and I finally felt full. I was sure my eyes had turned back to its honey gold color and I headed home to the Cullen Mansion.

I slowed to a walk as I approached our three story, white Victorian style house. All the lights were on and my head was instantly bombarded with everyone else's thoughts. They were all buzzing about how good it was to have seen Bella after all this time, and how she looked well in spite that her parents were just killed. They were also very curious as to when I would be home and if I had seen her, considering I made them come back.

Sighing slightly annoyed and not particularly wanting to deal with this right now, I continued walking towards the house. Hoping I could get by my family fairly quickly, without too many questions. I stepped through the door and instantly Alice was by my side. Looks like I'm about to be interrogated.

"Not now Alice." I said frustrated "It's been a really long day…" I looked at the clock on the wall and it read 3:30 AM

"I'm not the one who wants to talk, Edward, its Esme and Carlisle. They are the ones who want to talk. I just wanted to say I'm sorry." She said wrapping her arms around my waist, in a sisterly manner. I knew she was trying to make me feel better. Sighing I hugged the little pixie back and headed to the living room where Esme and Carlisle were.

"Edward, was this really such a good idea? Bringing us back here? I'm sure you heard how she talked to Esme. It was completely uncalled for."

"Look Carlisle it's been a long day, so let's cut to the chase. Yes I heard how she talked to Esme, and I am terribly sorry mother" I said turning my attention to Esme "Carlisle is right, the way she talked to you was completely uncalled for, but she was only acting out on my account. Bella was taking her anger out on you. None of that was supposed to be for you, but since I wimped out and did not come to her house like the rest of you, Esme got the worst end of it. However I did go back to her after you all had left, and I got an earful as well, trust me. It was not pleasant. The only thing I can think to say right now is I am sorry. I messed up big time when we left, and screwed up even more having you all come back here." With that I turned and ran as fast as I could up three flights of stairs to my room.

Closing the door I felt rather relieved but at the same time I felt lonely. The last time I had been in here was when she was here. My mind flashed back to that night that I remembered so vividly:

_ She was supposed to be having a sleep over with Alice, if that's even possible considering vamps don't sleep. Anyway she had been forced to play Bella Barbie because they- well we all were planning on going to the Halloween Carnival the school was hosting that night, it had been two hours and Bella needed to get away. Finally after arguing with Alice for ten minutes she won and Alice released her. _

_When she walked up the third flight of stairs I met her at the top. Alice had done a marvelous job with my love. As I laid eyes upon her I couldn't help but take in her beauty. Bella and I were going as sailors, because she loved that whole nautical thing and I agreed to make her happy and I also thought it would be fun. My, oh so loving, little sister had chosen a perfect outfit for Bella's costume it was a retro 1950's style sailor dress pencil skirt that was nautical navy blue with four white buttons and white piping around the collar. Bella was wearing a pearl necklace and about three inch pearly white heels. Alice had curled Bella's hair and it fell in loose ringlets down her back, Bella's hair had been pulled back so it was half up half down and she had a huge fabric red rose in her hair. Bella's make-up was done very natural; I assumed Rosalie had done it._

_"Bells, my goodness don't you look beautiful" she blushed slightly and then said "Thanks Edward, you can thank Alice for the look but I am never playing Bella Barbie again. That was torture. Hey wait a minute why aren't you in your costume?" She said sounding annoyed. _

_I laughed and said "Because, my dear, it will take me five minutes to do mine and I know you needed me. That's why I am standing here, would you like to come in?" I said gesturing to the room behind me. She nodded and then muttered "I hate you" jokingly under her breath. Even though I heard her as perfectly as I would if she was talking straight to my face I smiled, my famous crooked smile that she looked so much and then stepped aside so she could walk through the door. She sat on the black futon I had in my room, Debussy was playing softy through the speakers as I walked in behind her and shut the door. "Would it make you feel better if I put my costume on as well?"_

_"Yes please." She said smiling. I laughed softly and went to the bathroom to change. Five minutes later I walked out wearing a similar nautical sailor costume. Mine was white with a navy blue tie that matched Bella's dress perfectly. There was a red patch on the right breast area, matching her rose, and I wore navy blue shoes and a white sailor hat. I looked kind of ridiculous, but hell it was Halloween. I walked over to her and sat next to her. "You suck" she said giggling "but I love you"_

_"I love you too, Bella" and I kissed her softly. "We probably should get going Alice is coming to get us" I said and sure enough the second I said that a loud knock came. "Let's go you two we are going to be late!" she hollered through the door. I sighed and stood up and helping her to her feet. I hugged her tightly and kissed her neck then said "Let's go beautiful" _

That night was so wonderful. Unfortunately it was the last time I had spent any amount of time in my room. I sat down on my futon and felt like crying. I couldn't believe that I had screwed up so incredibly much with the one thing that was good in my life. I was going to have to try my hardest to get her back or I would never be the same Edward I was before I had the brilliant idea of leaving. I Will Get My Bella Back!

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**AN: sorry for the ridiculously long flashback. It just kept coming. Review please **


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys sorry I haven't updated lately. I know you all must hate me, but please don't! I have a good excuse. It was freaking Writers Block! So without further adieu here is chapter 5 **

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS! NOR DO I OWN THIS SONG!**

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Chapter 5

**Bella POV**

Sleep. Sleep is an amazing thing. I couldn't remember the last time I had slept through the night completely without waking up to that nightmare. Yes even when I had gone to Cali I still had that nightmare, every night. Honestly it was torture, so when I awoke in the early hours of the morning, like I had been doing while in Cali, without a nightmare to wake me I felt relieved and refreshed. I rolled over and looked at the clock that read 5:00 AM I smiled and then got out of bed.

I walked to my suitcase and pulled out a pair of black and emerald green Nike shorts, a matching sports bra and socks and my running shoes. I dressed quickly taking off my parents' clothes, folding them neatly and laying them at the end of my bed. I dug through my backpack and pulled out my iPod along with the headphones that were tucked neatly into its running arm band, which I strapped on my arm with ease.

I almost felt excited that I was going to go run. Today I would run 5-10 miles, or just run until I was relaxed. I walked down the stairs to the front door, unlocking the dead bolt and stepping outside closing the door behind me. Taking a deep breath I jogged down the stairs and did a few stretches to loosen up my muscles.

After stretching my legs I started running in a familiar direction towards the high school. It was a good mile and a half from my house, thinking this will be a good warm up. I hadn't been to the high school in a year and it was weird going back, but I wouldn't be staying long so it didn't bother me.

As I fell into a good pace that matched the music I felt happy. Running made me feel like I was running from my problems, running from the world. When I ran I thought of nothing but the rhythm that my feet made as they hit the road. Running made me feel like a completely different person. You wouldn't know this but I am one clumsy girl, but when I ran that clumsy-ness faded away. It was left behind just like everything else in the world.

I slowed as I got to the school. Now where to go? I turned left down the street and started back at my original pace. I had no idea where I was going I just ran. That's all I did until I ended up in the front lawn of the one place I didn't want to be. The Cullen house, it was a beautiful as ever. I had seen there home many times before and every time it still amazed me.

This home, well I would call it a mansion, is a large, graceful house, rectangular and well-proportioned, painted a faded white. My favorite part of the house was the southern wall which was almost entirely made of glass, with a view of the Calawah river and the beautiful garden green house in the back that Esme took a wonderful care of, full of several sections of a rose garden, all different colors along with several different kinds of flowers; the wall was also equipped with a steel shutter to protect the Cullen's from an attack, which had never actually been used.

My mind flashed back to the day that I had first visited this home. **(A/N: Pictures on my profile of the Cullen Mansion)**

_When I first saw it I couldn't believe what I saw, it was three stories tall, with a deep porch that wrapped around the front of the house and painted white. As we walked inside I noticed that the first story was open and bright, with few internal walls, a wide central staircase to the left and a raised area with a grand piano in the center that my Edward and I had spent many days after school sitting around as I listened to him play his compositions and watch his graceful fingers glide over the keys with ease. To the right of the platform was a rarely used dining room and kitchen._

_Behind the stairs was the office of C.E.E. Inc., the Cullen's' personal company, where they managed all of their business dealings. As we moved on to the second floor, I was told that Rosalie and Emmett's room was at the top of the staircase. As we moved around clock-wise I saw Jasper's study, as well as Alice and Jasper's room, which had an attached closet larger than the room itself. I soon knew that all too well considering every time there was something special going on I was shoved in this closet to play Bella Barbie. Carlisle's office was next, with two small but still rather large areas inside for Esme's study and Carlisle's personal library. The next flight of stairs took us to the third floor, where Carlisle and Esme's room was at the top of the staircase; with Edward's room facing south. The remainder of the third floor was called the library and was used for any technically illegal activity, such as forging birth certificates and hacking into computer systems in order to maintain the various identities needed to live unnoticed in human society. Considering they were vampires._

Stuck in my flashback I hadn't noticed that my favorite had walked out of the house and that I had stopped running; before I could turn around and run off the property the little pixie had her arms around me. I took my headphones out of my ear, "What are you doing here?" she asked quietly not saying my name because we both knew every vampire in that house was listening. "After what happened last night, I'm surprised you came. He is here, and he's a wreck"

"Alice, I just ended up here. I went for a run this morning." I said motioning to what I was wearing. "I honestly didn't know I would end up here I was just about to leave. I'm sorry" I said pulling away from her arms and turning to go.

"N-No don't go!" she said louder than she meant to. I turned back as she said "Please, I don't want my best friend to go." She smiled grimly

"Alice I have to. I can't stay here. Not with him here. I'm sure you heard what happened. I screwed up and I'm starting to rethink everything I said last night. I don't know why the hell I didn't just take him back." I started crying "Dammit, I gotta go. How about you come over later or something" I said wiping my tears, and sprinting away.

"But Be-!" I heard her shout. I kept sprinting for about five minutes. I looked behind me, I knew she hadn't followed and so I slowed down to my original pace stuck my headphones in my ears and turned on Scars by Allison Iraheta. This song fit my personality right now.

_Did I say something stupid?_  
_There goes one more mistake_  
_Do I bore you with my problems?_  
_Is that why you turn away?_  
_Do you know how hard I've tried_  
_To become what you want me to be_

_Take me, this is all that I've got_  
_This is all that I'm not, all that I'll ever be_  
_I've got flaws, I've got faults_  
_Keep searching for your perfect heart_  
_It doesn't matter who you are_  
_We all have our scars, we all have our scars_

_You say don't act like a child_  
_But what if it's a father I need?_  
_It's not like you don't know_  
_What you got yourself into_  
_Don't tell me I'm the one who's naïve_  
_Do you know how hard I've tried_  
_To become what you want me to be_

_Take me, this is all that I've got_  
_This is all that I'm not, all that I'll ever be_  
_I've got flaws, I've got faults_  
_Keep searching for your perfect heart_  
_It doesn't matter who you are_  
_We all have our scars, we all have our scars_

_Come on, just let it go_  
_These are things you can't control_  
_Your expectations, your explanations_  
_Don't make sense to me_  
_You and your alternatives_  
_Don't send me to your therapist_  
_Deep down I know what you mean_  
_And I'm not sure that's what I wanna be_  
_Oh oh, oh oh oh, no oh_

_Take me, this is all that I've got_  
_This is all that I'm not, all that I'll ever be_  
_I've got flaws, I've got faults_  
_Keep searching for your perfect heart_  
_It doesn't matter who you are_  
_We all have our scars, we all have our scars_  
_Oh oh, oh oh, no no no, oh oh, ooh oh oh_

_Did I say something stupid?_  
_There goes one more mistake_

The song ended right as I got to my front lawn. I went inside to take a shower. Hopefully Alice will come by later like I had asked.

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**A/N: How did you guys like it? let me know I'll be working on the next chapter! Reviews please!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys here is chapter 6. I am surprised I got it up today! 2 chapters today! I'm proud of myself**

**Anyway I hope you Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS! SM DOES!**

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Chapter 6

**Bella POV:**

The hot water from the shower ran over my skin as I just stood with my head against the tile wall. Why they fuck had I gone there? I had no reason to I wasn't a part of that family anymore, no matter how badly the Cullen's actually wanted me to be. "DAMMIT!" I yelled and slammed my hand against the tile. "How could I be so stupid? Oh Edward why couldn't I have just taken you back and it would have gone back to how it was before you left. Before I died inside" I said aloud. Annoyed I slammed the faucet off and yanked the towel of the hook wrapping it around myself. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped my hair in smaller towel and trudged out of my bathroom. I looked at the clock and saw that it said 8:30 AM. "Damn this is going to be a long ass day."

I went to my closet to find something to wear. I dug through the garment bags and found a pair of Miss Me Turquoise Embroidered Wing Skinny Jeans and a Black sheer spaghetti strap flowy top. I riffled through the underwear drawer where Alice had put all of the undergarments that she had bought for me and pulled out a turquoise bandeau and matching panties. I walked out of the closet and back into the bathroom and dressed.

After I was dressed I blow dried my hair and let it lie in the loose waves down my back as I put my make up on. I opened the cherry wood jewelry box that sat on the counter it was full of earrings, bracelets and necklaces. I pulled out the turquoise, wooden and silver metal charm bangle bracelet that my mom had given to me, as well as a set of turquoise ball studs and a set of black rose stud earrings. Once done with all of that I decided I wanted to paint my toenails and fingernails, I pulled out my turquoise finger nail polish, hooked up my iPod to the dock turned on Pandora and got to it jamming out to a cover of Taylor Swift's White Horse by Stephen Jerzak.

I hadn't had a day for myself in a while. Before I came back I had to Forks I was working my butt off and trying to catch up in school, considering I had missed most of my junior year. So having this me day was really nice. After two more songs I had finished my girl time and my nails had dried all 20 of them. Now I had to go work on arrangements for my parent's funeral. Yippee! Not. I got up off the bench at the end of my bed and went back to the closet and found some shoes that were in my closet. The shoe box said DV by Dolce Vita Balla. Reading the label on the inside "The Balla is a strappy suede sandal with enclosed back. Back has zipper closure. Suede wrapped platform at front, Heel Height: 5" Platform Height: 1-1/4'". I realized that these were definitely not the best shoes to be wearing but hell I didn't care. I was going to change my look and actually wear the clothes that Alice gave me and I was going to dress like a model and I was going to make myself irresistible to Edward.

Strapping the shoes on I looked in the full mirror that was on my closet door. Damn I look good. Stepping away from the mirror I went to my desk that sat in the corner and put my MacBook in is Vera Bradley carrying sleeve. Then I put my phone, keys, and wallet into the turquoise cross body designer purse that went with this outfit and grabbed my ray-bans and headed out of the house. As I walked to the garage I opened the door to my father's baby. A 1948 Tucker Car, which was his fathers. Both kept them in very good shape and now the value for one of these cars is about $200,000. This particular one was apple red and the most beautiful thing I've ever seen besides Edward of course.

I slid behind the wheel and put the key into the ignition starting the car after setting my laptop and purse in the seat next to me. I opened the garage door, put the car in reverse, pulled down the driveway and headed down the street towards a little café in the middle of town. As I pulled into the parking lot my windows phone vibrated alerting me I had a text message:

_Hey B its Alice, Still cool if I come over?_

I replied back: _Hey Alice, I'm actually at the little café in the middle of town. Didn't really want to be home while I worked on funeral stuff. You can join me if you want. _Once I sent the message I grabbed all of my stuff and got out of the car. Not five seconds later I got a message back.

_Okay cool be there in five! _

I tucked my phone in the back pocket of my jeans and walked inside after taking good care that I locked the car. As I opened the door the smell of coffee hit me, I went to the counter and ordered my favorite drink, double chocolaty chocolate chip mocha Frappuccino. Turning around after paying I saw an open booth and went straight to it. I pulled out my computer and lifted the screen, typing in my password, not two seconds later the door opened and the little pixie was right next to me.

"Hey, Bella!" I looked up at my name and smiled.

"Grande double chocolaty chocolate mocha Frap." The Barista called. I stood to get my order, walking gracefully from the table I heard Alice say "Damn Bella you look hot!" I smiled grabbing my drink and then going to sit down next to her "Thanks" I said blushing.

"It's good to see you Bella" She said quietly. "I'm glad that you aren't mad at all of us. By the way you should talk to Esme again. She loves you and really wants this to work out."

"I will. I feel horrible about the way I talked to her. Maybe that's why I showed up at y'alls place today. My subconscious was telling me to apologize."

"That's probably what it was." She said as I nodded. It was quiet for a while. I was looking through funeral home websites and when I found the one my parents wanted I called the place. I talked for several minutes and finally set a date for the funeral to be five days from was going to be really hard to put together. I wasn't sure who I could invite because everyone in my family was gone. Then Alice said "you know the entire town of Forks was devastated when your parents were killed. If you put it in the town newspaper everyone will show up. Also if you would like my family will be more than happy to come. But don't feel obligated to-"

"Great idea Alice. Could you let your family know while I get a hold of the newspaper"

"Um… yeah" she stepped away to make a call while I looked up the number to the newspaper and called them.

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**I hope you like this chapter. The next chapter is Alice's POV. Also if you have any ideas you want me to put into this story PM me and let me know and I might possibly incorporate them. Right now I am trying to put together a Back story as to why Alice and Bella are so close.  
**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note:**

**Yay! a third chapter up today! **

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS SM DOES!**

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Chapter 7

**Alice POV**

Bella looked incredible. If I was a man I would date her. Um… just kidding that would be weird besides I love my Jasper. I walked over to her as she was getting up to get her drink "Damn Bella you look hot!" she smiled and said a quick "thanks" and blushed.

"It's good to see you Bella" I said quietly. "I'm glad that you aren't mad at all of us. By the way you should talk to Esme again. She loves you and really wants this to work out."

"I will. I feel horrible about the way I talked to her. Maybe that's why I showed up at y'alls place today. My subconscious was telling me to apologize."

"That's probably what it was." I said. It was quiet for a while. Bella was looking through funeral home websites while I was sitting there texting Jasper. When she found the one I guess her parents wanted she called the place. She talked for several minutes and finally set a date for the funeral to be five days from now. I noticed by the look on her face that she had no idea how to put this together and that she wasn't even sure who to invite. Thinking quickly I said "you know the entire town of Forks was devastated when your parents were killed. If you put it in the town newspaper everyone will show up. Also if you would like my family will be more than happy to come. But don't feel obligated to-"

"Great idea Alice. Could you let your family know while I get ahold of the newspaper" she cut me off. I was a little confused why she wanted my family there I mean she had just had a screaming fight with them last night. This girl was going to drive me insane. But I love her so much.

"Um… yeah" I stepped away to make a call. I hit the speed dial for Jasper's cell. In two rings he picked up _"Hey babe"_

"Hey Jasper"

_"How's Bella? Anything new or different from last night?"_

"Um… actually yes. It's rather strange. So can you gather everyone and put them on speaker."

_"Sure babe, Edward as well?"_

"Edward as well"

_"Okay give me a sec."_

"Yeah go ahead" I said looking down at my nails. Man I really needed a manicure. Maybe I'll have Rosalie do it tomorrow. _"Everyone's here Ali, what's going on?"_

"Okay so here's what's going on and no it couldn't wait until later I'm sure Bella wants an answer now. Esme just so you know Bella feel's horrible about talking to you the she did last night. I think she was going to call you tonight or something."

_"Well that is very nice of her."_ Esme's voice came

_"So what is going on Alice that you needed all of us here"_ I heard Edward's exasperated voice.

"Relax, brother dearest" I said annoyed "I'm getting there. As I was saying Bella has set a date for her parents' funeral. 5 days from now-"

_"Yeah, that's great Alice, but could you get to the point? Rose and I were busy"_ Said Emmett sarcastically. I heard a soft 'whack' and an "ow Rose" I giggled a little

_"Ignore him Alice he's being a baby"_ Rosalie said

"I usually do. Anyway as I was saying, again, 5 days from now she wants all of us to be at the Monroe Funeral home for the burial. Oh and when I say all of us, I mean all of us. She wants you there too Edward. Can we do this for her?"

I heard several 'yes's' a couple 'yeahs' but I didn't hear Edward's voice "Edward? Yes or no? I know she really want's you there. Believe it or not she knows she over reacted last night but it's not changing. You still have to win her back, and honestly I think you will have an easier time then you thought. So Yes or No Edward?"

_"I don't know Alice. I could barely show my face at her house last night."_ Said Edward.

_"Son, I know you can do this. If you can't do it for you then do it for her. We are all she has now"_ Carlisle said wisely

Edward hesitated for a minute _"I guess I can do it for her."_

"Goody! Alright family, I'm going to hang up now so I can say goodbye to Bella. I'll be home soon. Bye!"

_ "Bye"_ I heard all of them say and then the line went dead. Now to tell Bella. I walked back into the main area where I saw Bella sitting down staring at her computer. I waltzed over to her and said "Good news, my whole family will be at the funeral."

"Thanks Alice" she said not looking from her screen. I went and stood next to her and saw pictures of her and Edward scrolling on the screen. I saw a slight tear in her eye and then bent to give her a hug. "Bella everything will be alright. I know you miss him, but honey you were the one who said he had to win your trust back. Just know that I am here for you no matter what and so is everyone else including Edward. Now I have to go but I'll see you tomorrow."

She sniffled and then said "Yeah I'll see you tomorrow." And with that I turned to leave.

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**A/N: The end for that chapter. next chapter is gonna be Bella again, and you'll see why she was staring at the pics of her and her main squeeze. hope you enjoyed this. Reviews please.**

**PM me if you have any ideas that you want me to add into the story i want to know what my reader's want! thanks y'all!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: here is chapter 8 I hope you enjoy**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS SM DOES**

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Chapter 8

**Bella POV**

"_Forks Newspaper this is Angela, how can I help you?"_

"Hi Angela" I recognized that name from high school. She was one of the girls who first befriended my first day of school "This is Isabella Swan, I'm calling to see-"

_"Bella! Oh my goodness it's so good to hear from you. It's been a while and I'm sorry to hear about your parents we were all devastated."_

"Thanks Ang, it's good to hear from you too. I've missed you girlie. And it's okay. I'm pretty devastated too. I'm sorry I lost contact, I kind of lost myself after what happened"

_"No one blames you Bella. I understand it is okay. Anyway, I got carried away, what can the Forks Newspaper do for you?"_

"Right, Um I finally set a date for my parent's memorial service I was wondering if you could put something in the paper about it so the whole town knows when and where to go if they want to pay their respects?"

_"Oh sure, what day did you set it for?"_

"Five days from now so Friday, June Seventh at the Monroe Funeral Home."

_"Yeah I can get that in to the paper and sent into to the printer by tomorrow and it will be out by Tuesday."_

"Thank you Angela. Hey let me know when you are free and we'll go get coffee or something."

_"Definitely, in fact I know it's like Ten O'clock but I'm actually about to head out of here, you want to meet in like twenty minutes?"_

"Sure I'm at the Café in the middle of town. I was gonna work on some other stuff for the day but I wouldn't mind some company"

_"Sounds good see you then by Bella!"_

"Bye! See you soon!" I said hanging up the phone. I turned back to my computer screen and it had gone to my screen saver pictures of Edward and I scrolled slowly. From the day we met to the day that he left, were pictures of us and then just him that I had taken or that he had taken, and several ones that Esme had given to me of him. I just sat there and stared as I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I saw Alice slowly walk over to me.

"Good news, my whole family will be at the funeral." I heard her say.

"Thanks Alice" I answered not looking from the screen. She came over and stood next to me, I knew she saw the pictures and I heard her say "Bella everything will be alright. I know you miss him, but honey you were the one who said he had to win your trust back. Just know that I am here for you no matter what and so is everyone else including Edward. Now I have to go but I'll see you tomorrow."

I sniffled trying to hold the tears back and then said "Yeah I'll see you tomorrow." And with that she turned to leave. I sat there watching these pictures scroll by.

About 10 minutes later I heard the door open again and looked up to see Angela walk in. I quickly hit the mouse pad and opened a word document and began typing up an obituary for my mom and dad. She look just the same as she had in high school but her style had changed a bit; she had become more of a hipster. Today she was wearing a red and white striped shirt, with a royal blue blazer, light wash shredded jeans black converse, and she had her ray-ban glasses on with a Sandqvist Black Erik Messenger Bag on her shoulder. Her long wavy dark brown hair fell down to her shoulders and I noticed she had a tattoo on her wrist that was the infinity sign connected with the word love, she was really pretty. I stood up and hugged her as she smiled and said "oh my goodness Bella! I misses you so much"

"I missed you too Ang. You look beautiful, you haven't changed a bit"

"Thank you Bella. I can't say the same thing about you, you look amazing. That move really did you good."

"Well yeah, I am more confident and I'm not the same old clumsy Bella" I laughed slightly. We talked for several hours and at around 3 o'clock she said she had to leave because she was going to hang out with Ben. Turns out they had been dating for about a year now. I said goodbye to her as she left. I had been at the Café practically all day and so I decided it was time to go home.

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**A/N so what do you think? i know its not a lot but i think the next chapter everyone will kind of like.**

**PM me if you have any ideas for me to put in the story i want to know what my reader's want!**

**Leave Reviews please**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:**

**Hey lovelies! I'm sorry I've fallen off the face of the earth and not updated in a long time. I feel bad. Please accept my apology life got in the way and I had a serious case of Writer's Block. Anywho here is the next chapter I'm sorry it so short but I just couldn't add much. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight SM does**

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Chapter 9

**Bella POV**

I gathered my stuff up, not really knowing what I was going to do for the rest of the day. It was hard not really having a bunch of friends here. I could have had a boyfriend but he screwed up and I made him regain my trust. Honestly I wish I was still in Cali, at least I would have some friends and a beach. Sighing I got the rest of my stuff and headed out to the car.

As I pulled my car into the garage, I turned off the ignition, sighed and got out of the car carrying all my stuff inside. I placed everything on the kitchen table and was instantly annoyed that I was alone. I walked to the living room and flipped on the TV and found a movie that would be good background noise turning it up so the volume filled the house and I felt less lonely. After I set the remote down I went to the kitchen in search of something to eat, realizing I hadn't actually eaten anything today. Bad Bella. I looked in the fridge and found some cheese sticks which are one of my favorite snacks. The Cullen's really did know me. I pulled out a couple of sticks and closed the fridge again.

I sighed, _now what am I going to do? _ I thought and thought and then remembered I had some homework to work on from my school in Cali. They had completely understood what I was going through with the depression and everything so they told me I had until the start of school the next year to do all my missed work so I would be caught up and ready to start my senior year. I mean I am only 17 and if I wanted to get into the Ivy league school Dartmouth with a full ride or mostly a full ride scholarship.

I ate the cheese sticks; I did my work, made dinner and ate it. Then at 10:45 I went to bed. It had been a long day and it would be the same tomorrow too. Minus all the meetings with friends and the parent's funeral stuff, it was going to be a long two weeks.

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**AN: Hey guys sorry this was horrible. It sucked a ton and I know it. I'm hoping the next chapter will be better. Maybe someone elses POV. I dunno. But Review please or don't its okay. Love you my lovelies **


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